I have an elderly mother. She just turned 88 in November. She has suffered for years with arthritis and has been so positive and of good spirit. She does not feel sorry for herself. She says “oh there are other things that are much worse”.
In the last year and especially the last 6 months I have noticed some changes. She is weaker and not so inclined to want to move from her suite to go any where any more than she has to. She loved to go out, granted Covid-19 put a kibosh into that but still there has been a change in desire. The past few times I went to visit she asked me to leave because she was tired, done in and before it would have been hard to leave and she would love to chat and tell stories of the old times.
Today she phoned in the morning saying she didn’t want to bother me but she really did not feel well. I had noticed her face and eyelids being puffy along with her ankles in spite of pressure gradient stockings. She was also short of breath just sitting and she had no energy.
Here it is a few days before Christmas , what are the chances of getting into the doctor? I called right away and there was a cancellation for the next day. I was so thankful to God. I hope there may be an easy medication adjustment or treatment . I notice I am very concerned, more concerned than she would like. I notice my feelings about thoughts of when she might die. I don’t think this is imminent but the reality is that she is compromised and growing older. I notice I still want to depend on her and not have her need to depend on me.
I notice that I have times of fear and sadness and have to remind myself to stay in the present and not forecast ahead that which I do not know.
I notice I need support as well and I need to depend on God for all of our needs.
I notice that God is here. Thanks be to God
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